At JNBA, financial planning has always been about more than numbers. It’s about people; their goals, fears, memories, and the meaning they attach to money. That’s why our team recently read How to Know a Person by David Brooks, a book that explores what it really takes to understand others on a deeper, more personal level.
Reading this book sparked conversations across our office about how we can be present for the individuals and families we serve. A handful of themes rose to the top, ideas that are already reshaping the way we listen, discuss recommendations and options with our clients, and build lifelong relationships.
Here are four actions from David Brooks’ book that our team will reinforce:
1. Become “Illuminators,” Not “Diminishers”
Brooks describes two types of people: those who make others feel seen and known, and those who unintentionally shrink the people around them. Financial planning is a deeply personal process and can carry fear around comparison to peers or judgement (“Did I save enough?” “Is that a good question to ask?” “Should I already know that answer?”). Our advisors walked away from this conversation with a renewed commitment to making the individuals we work with feel seen and giving them space to feel comfortable asking questions and sharing about their priorities without judgement. This means slowing down, asking better questions, and creating a platform for people to articulate what truly matters to them. Financial decisions often feel clearer when people feel understood.
2. Listen for the Story Beneath the Story
Individuals and families rarely come to JNBA with “just” a financial question. There are often underlying values and beliefs that have shaped the question. Brooks reinforced the importance of listening not only to what is said but what lies beneath the surface. As financial advisors, we aim to enter conversations with curiosity over assumptions, ask questions that invite deeper reflection, and create meaningful pauses throughout conversation to allow inner thoughts to surface. At JNBA, we believe financial plans are more effective when we understand the values, meaning and purpose behind the numbers.
3. Help People Articulate Their Identity, Not Just Their Goals
Brooks argues that people want to be known for who they are, not just what they do. Our advisors found this especially relevant when helping individuals navigate life transitions such as retirement, career changes, inheritance, or caring for aging parents, which begs the question, “Who are you outside of work?”
As advisors, we will ask more questions like, “What will motivate you or provide a sense of purpose in this next chapter or stage?” and “What role does money play in supporting that next chapter?” A financial plan becomes more meaningful when it evolves and changes with you and your circumstances; but even more importantly, when it is specific and unique to you.
4. Build Relationships Through Small, Consistent Acts of Attention
Brooks emphasizes that deep connection isn’t built through grand gestures, it’s built through steady, intentional presence. For us at JNBA, that means being responsive, remembering details, and being genuinely interested in an individual’s life beyond their portfolio.
These four small actions accumulate into something powerful: a relationship where people feel safe sharing their real concerns and dreams. Understanding each of our clients on a deep personal level is foundational to our ability to act not only as your advisor, but also your advocate.
Why This Matters
Creating a financial life plan is a deeply personal endeavor. The insights from How to Know a Person remind us that our greatest value isn’t technical expertise, it’s the ability to understand people deeply, and walk alongside them as they navigate various life transitions. At JNBA, our team is committed to bringing this richer, more empathetic approach into every conversation. When you feel truly known, better financial planning can naturally follow.
If you’re curious how this people‑first philosophy shapes our planning process, reach out to us at JNBA Financial Advisors or talk to your JNBA Advisory Team.
Please note: All services provided by David Brooks are separate and independent of JNBA Financial Advisors, LLC. Due to various factors, including changing market conditions and/or applicable laws, some of the content may no longer be reflective of current opinions or positions. Moreover, you should not assume that any discussion or information contained in this blog serves as the receipt of, or as a substitute for, personalized investment advice from JNBA Financial Advisors.
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